You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
