I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
