You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
