Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
