I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
