I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
