Im at strip club and am horny
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize