At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
