school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
