Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
