ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
