So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
