My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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