I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
