Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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