Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
