I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
