He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
