Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
