They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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