I can tuck mytits in my pants
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We got so high we made milksteak
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
