Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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