when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
