First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
