time to smoke my breakfast
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you made out with another girl for some wings
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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