i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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