im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
PANTIES FOUND
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