It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
