just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
