its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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