and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
