but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
