it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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