YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I AM VODKA MAN
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
