I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
