So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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