can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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