Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
