She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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