I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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