Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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