he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
