I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
