8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
