Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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