I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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