you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think people are normalizing furries
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
