I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
