apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
