I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
