I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
