office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
