how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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