I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
