I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
