The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
