when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
