You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm like, not good at living.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
