please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i will never coherently bang her
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
